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Youth Hockey----Irresponsible Parents

By Frederick Corrigan

I park in front of the elementary school at 3:15 in the afternoon and here comes my 8 year old grandson, Matt. We have to hurry to get to his youth hockey practice, which is 12 miles away. I had already stopped at Matt’s home and picked up his equipment bag with his uniform, skates and hockey stick.

Youth Hockey is a great program and the one hour practice is very intense. This is Matt’s second year in the program and it is remarkable to see how he has progressed from not being able to stand on ice skates to making pass plays while going at full tilt.

The coaches are to be commended as they give their time for practice sessions during the week as well as for games on the weekends.

These youth hockey programs start with children in the first grade and students can participate right through middle school. These youngsters have a great advantage when they reach high school and on to college sports.

The teams are made up of girls and boys and they train and compete in their own age and skill levels. There are times when parents will travel over 100 miles on a Saturday or Sunday morning for a 6:30AM game.

The program teaches sportsmanship, game skills, team work, responsibility, competition and is a great way to aid in the fight against childhood obesity.

With all of this positive action going on, where are the irresponsible parents?

The following events took place in a ONE HOUR time frame!

The children were on the ice, with their coaches, practicing their hockey skills.

A mother, with her 5 year old son was headed for the snack bar at the far end of the rink. Mom stops to speak to another parent, but son continues another 50 feet and enters the snack bar. Mother can’t see this child and there is a door on the far end of the snack bar which leads to the parking lot. Could someone snatch this child, bolt to the parking lot and drive away? In addition, there are signs posted that read as follows:

PARENTS

YOU are responsible for YOUR children.

Do not leave children under 8 unsupervised in the snack bar.

WE do not provide babysitting.

Mom enters the snack bar and proceeds to buy son a treat. They take a seat at one of the tables where Mom takes out her book and an electronic game for the boy. Quality parent time!

This is an ice skating rink, so the temperature is kept down and it is very cold sitting on the metal bleachers. It may be 60, 70 or 80 degrees outside, but it is 50 degrees or less inside. You would think that parents would make certain that their children, who aren’t skating, would have proper clothing. Many times, you see young children running around without jackets, hats or mittens. This leads to parents and children heading for the snack bar to get warm.

One such person was a dad who had an infant in a combination car seat/carrier. Dad watched his son playing on the ice for five minutes and then he took the infant into the snack bar. Without buying anything, he set the carrier down on top of the table, took a seat and proceeded to talk to other parents seated nearby. This same carrier was on the floor of the locker room, when we were getting the children dressed to play hockey. I hope that none of the kids had walked through some dog poop, before they came into the locker room.

A group of parents were sitting on the metal bleachers watching their children play hockey. Five younger children, three girls and two boys, were running around playing tag. The following sign, 4 feet by 4 feet, is mounted on the wall:
RINK RULES
1. Children under 12 must be supervised by an adult.
2. NO smoking in rink at any time.
3. NO fighting, running or general horseplay.
4. Refreshments must not be taken on ice surface at anytime.
5. No alcoholic beverages allowed in the rink.
6. No throwing of any object on ice surface.

While these children were running around, two boys about 10 years of age were sliding down the metal banister from the second floor bleacher area. If they were to fall off at the top, it would be a 12 foot drop to the concrete floor below.

Back to the snack bar, we find a well dressed woman sitting at one of the tables. The table top is covered with paperwork and she’s got her calculator going like crazy. She has a thought, gets up, leaves the snack bar, takes a picture of her son playing goalie and returns to her paperwork. She tied up this table for four and didn’t spend a nickel in the snack bar, for the entire hour of practice.

You remember the five younger children who were playing tag----well one of them showed up with a box of popcorn. She placed it on the bleacher seat and continued to play tag. You know that on a quick run-by, she reaches for some popcorn and there it goes onto the floor. No five-second rules here, so it’s left for people to walk through.

Have you had enough irresponsibility yet?

We all know that if the five year old boy was abducted, the ten year old fell to his death from the banister or one of the running children slipped on the popcorn, struck their head and was paralyzed, what would happen next. The lawsuits would be flying and all because some parents won’t set the example of following the rules for their children’s safety.

This one hour example is not an isolated situation, nor is it just generic to Youth Hockey. You can visit many indoor/outdoor soccer, basketball, field hockey, baseball or any other youth program and observe American permissive parenthood on display.

Responsibility and discipline create respect, and our children should be learning from the examples that are set by their parents.

Contributor's Note

As we were leaving the rink, a dad was driving his mini van, through the groups of children in the parking lot, as he was talking on his hand-held cell phone. Irresponsibility doesn't quit!
Watch your children with loving discipline---you can bet that they are watching YOU!

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Thanks for your support, James. Maybe it's the generation gap thing.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Parents have lost their way totally - mainly because they don't know what their responsibilities are.

It could well be the a parent of a child racing around would want to discipline it but heck, the parent can be sued for trying to protect the child (infringing its human rights) as well as for child endangerment.

Until parents are given back full responsibility for the welfare and behaviour of their chidren, they will wander in this grey area not knowing how to behave for the best.

We all have to face the consequences of our actions, Arthur. If parents don't take that responsibility, then their children will give them a life of hell.
Thank you for your comments.
Best wishes.
Frederick

A sad example, for sure. And if a child Had been abducted or seriously injured, I'm betting the parents would have blamed the people who operate the rink for not making the environment safe for children.

Your comments are very true, June. The lawyers would be lining up with checkbook deposit slips in hand.
Thank you for visiting.
Best to you.
Frederick

I was told that "If I don't throw the waste on the floor the Person paid to do the cleaning won't have anything to do. If everyone left the place clean the cleaner would loose his job. We have to do it to provide employment."
Well said Frederick

Better to have the cleaner lose their job, than to be taken to the cleaners by the parent's lawyers.
Thank you for your visit and your fun comments, Reg.
Best wishes.
Frederick

One day I was traveling with my 5-year-old grandson on the ferry. I had packed books, card games, finger snacks and juice boxes and an empty garbage bag his backpack for the 1 ½ hour trip.
Where we sat there was about 12-15 other children with their parents along with other travelers. My grandson and I played card games and I read books to him as the other children ran around, crawled under everyone’s seats, fought with each other threw their coats, shoes etc all around the area and at each other, as the other parents read their books and chatted with each other. It was like a playground affair.
I had several passengers come to my grandson and tell him he was a good boy and marveled at his behavior.
I think the training starts at home. Oh and my grandson’s reaction to them was to roll his eyes and smirk at their behavior. This same child would give anyone a run for his or her money in a playground.

It is one of our truest pleasures to have our children/grandchildren set the example for good behavior in public.
Thank you for your fine comments, Teresa.
Best wishes.
Frederick

I recall one game where the parents were so upset with the referee they physically assaulted him when he came off the ice.

I only brought the other kids with me IF they were interested in the game. Otherwise they stayed home with mom.

Usually the proceeds from the snack bar go to the hockey organization and is manned by volunteer parents.

Perhaps you could print out this Intel and post it at the bulletin board at the hockey rink.

This is like,"I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out", Franklyn.
Thank you for your support.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Sad examples to be sure and it's certainly not confined to North America, the same problems manifest here in the UK too. This intel begs the question though. Who taught the parents to look after their children? Society hasn't suddenly deteriorated to this level, our do gooders who weren't satisfied until children had their rights and were spoiled by sparing the rod.

We're both from a generation that asked for respect and didn't back off until we got it. Consequences have to hurt or they aren't effective.
Thanks for your visit and for your comments, Adrian.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Two things I hear parents voice frequently are that
1. they want kids to be kids... You know have time to play, without worrying about their parents nagging them. Personally, if they want their kids to do this, it should be done at home. I don't care to have to put up with kids yelling, screaming, and so forth in public.

2. They don't want to be too directive...I think that's their main job...to teach kids right, wrong, how to behave etc. That means they need to give feedback of some kind to direct the children so that they will learn. Failure to teach such things seems like a failure on the part of the parent.

My bet, is that you know that you didn't act or talk the way kids do today, Christina.
Thank you for your visit and for your comments.
Best to you.
Frederick

I know that part of it is a generation thing, Janet. However, I believe that today's parents have some work to do.
Thank you for your support.
Best wishes.
Frederick

I remember one ice rink we went to that was built in the 1930's in Utica NY had a big sign that said, "Keep a boy on ice and he will stay out of hot water".

....and then there was the Pittsfield, MA boys and girls club with the ice ring on the third floor. They built the building around the full size Zamboni.

The swimming pool was on the first floor and the gym on the second floor. First time we went there we thought they were pulling our leg .... third floor? No really where is the ice rink?

Great comments, Franklyn. The Berkshire Bruins are still going strong in Pittsfield, Ma.
Thanks for the visit.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Good Intel, Frederick. It seems that the ice rink (in this situation) has become the substitute baby sitter while the parents get on with what they want to do.

Unfortunately, I've seen this at all organized youth activities over the last six years. Parents are irresponsible and the kids know it.
Thank you for your visit and you comments, Geoff.
Best wishes.
Frederick

I agree, love and respect go together... great thoughts you've shared. We have field hockey here in So. California!

Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments, Diana.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Thanks for sharing this Federick, your grandson is very blessed to have you actively participating and protecting his well-being.

Thank you for visiting and for your kind comments, Jan. I appreciate them very much.
Best wishes.
Frederick

The problem with most people today is that they don't think any more. Previous generations were different. More time may have helped them.

Our parents were held responsible as were we, Gabriele.
Today, "I Don't Know", seems to get kids by. Their parents are responsible for this lack of answer.
Thank you for your valued comments.
Best to you.
Frederick

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