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The Games We Don't Play

By Frederick Corrigan

You sit on your asphalt, looking around, listening closely and nothing’s happening.

Why is that?

What time is it?

Guess what----It’s time you realized that time has passed you by----Or has it?

Your asphalt is in a retirement community, which means that your children aren’t there with you. They grew up while you were bringing home the bacon and now they have to produce the goods, for their children.

What’s new about that statement? Not one single thing.

Why is it important? Because, we haven’t changed since the 1960’s when Americans sat on their couches and started to seriously watch the BOOB TUBE. The family interaction slowed or quit during the evenings spent watching TV.
The children stayed inside to watch sports, instead of being outside playing sports with their schoolmates.

Teenagers spend their afternoons, lying on their beds, watching TV in their rooms. This should be illegal!

Dad spends Sunday afternoon and evening watching sports, while downing junk food. At this point it probably doesn’t make a difference, because he’s too fat to do anything active with the children anyway.

Poor Mom had to work to balance the family budget. I understand, but why does she have to shop the “bake at home pizza isle” for dinner? OH, I see, the teenage children don’t know how to peel potatoes, prepare vegetables and broil chicken breast.

What does this have to do with “The Games We Don’t Play”?

EVERYTHING!

We have regressed away from the family values that that our freedom is based on. To list a few: Togetherness, Responsibility, Caring, Family, Brotherhood and Country.

Why don’t the children go out to play? The reason is partly because there is nobody to play with. All of their friends are in their homes playing with their electronics. This is what we are breeding today and then someone takes a survey on “OBESE CHILDREN”. Is there any wonder why the children are obese?

Don’t we see or don’t we care?

Let’s pretend that we see and therefore we care.

We start by pulling the plug on all electronics for two hours every weekday, except for school home work, and for four hours every Saturday/Sunday afternoon or evening.

You don’t dare---You’ve got no guts----You’ve sat so long, you don’t know what to do----My kids will kill me----What do we do?

Point made-----Families have to do something!

It starts with you, the retired Grandparent, sitting on your asphalt. Asphalt could be your driveway or an analogy for a body part.

Let’s get involved with mentoring our grandchildren, in their sports, their school work, preparing meals, household chores and games.

Our children will wonder in amazement as to our new found interest. Now, you turn on your children and get them involved in this mentoring. Someone has to start developing family responsibility or it will be lost forever. It will be lost to the Electronic Dragon, the Deadly Text Cancer and the Me Generation.

Start with the fun! Get the family involved in non-electronic games. Play games that involve interaction, math, words, concentration, skill, conversation, patience and planning.

Give a test to your 12 year old baseball fan grandson. What is the batting average of the hitter who has 17 hits with 62 trips at bat?

Ask your teenage granddaughter to bake a cake and hand her the box that has the directions. Interaction is the key; don’t take NO for an answer. Dad, how many cakes have you baked? Learn together and the game of responsibility will be fun.

“I don’t know”, is one of the most common phrases that I hear from young people today. I wonder if they are not held responsible for knowing, because their parents don’t insist on their knowing. Many times, I believe that the answer is a lazy response, rather than saying, “I don’t care”.

Why is it Mom’s duty to do the laundry, when 14 year old Jr. is playing golf on his wii? Pull that plug and teach him to do laundry, sorting, washing, drying, ironing and putting away. He’ll be in college soon and they don’t babysit! Make him proud to help Mom and make her life better.

The game of life is more fun when done with those we care about. They will play the game, if you invite them.

HAVE FUN! LIVE HAPPY! SHARE THE FUN!

Go to the external link and let the games begin.

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Well written. We make sure such things are not happening in our home. I have my 8 year old daughter cut the veges and cook the rice almost everyday. At 5pm I chase the kids out of the house to play outside. Of course, I'm trying very hard to be outside with them too.

Thank you for your comments, Lian.
Family is the only cure for regaining values that have been lost.
Best with your children.
Frederick

I agree with you 100%. Children have lost the art of real play. I know that it can be difficult when both parents are working, but with a little planning we can all afford some time to spend with our children.

Thanks for your supportive comments, Keith.
We really have only about 12 to 15 years to play with our children, then they are off with their friends. Life is short.
Best to you.
Frederick

Hi, Frederick,
All that you say about modern generations are, in the 'so-called' developed western world, now bitter facts of life.
Ever since the age of 'women's lib' the family has been destroyed as both parents accepted that the human rights of the father, the mother and the children were in constant conflict.
As a child I knew that, no matter what my father thought, my mother ruled the home. It was my mother who made the rules and father who enforced them. Every family was structured in the same way and women were the true power behind the throne.
Today, after decades of social engineering and ignorance there is no structure in the family. There is no line in the sand which can not be crossed (my generation knew exactly where the line was and although we tried to move it a little, we had enough respect for our parents and respect for ourselves not to cross it).
Today there is no real sanction against the most evil of activities and the necessity of both parents to work to buy the electronics that have ripped the heart out of society means that modern children are abused in the most frightful way. They are denied the structured up-bringing that even a wild dog puppy receives.
I am very pleased that my grandchildren have the same values I gave my children. They do play out doors. They do not get baffled wondering how to 'switch on' a Monopoly board and television, if it is watched at all, is a special treat. Better still, they know who they are, they are self confident. They also push the line - but never cross it.

Your comments are appreciated, Arthur.
We all push the line as a way of testing the love and strength of the line holders.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Well said Frederick, our generation has a lot to answer for, yes we took the easy option letting our kids do what they wanted and now they're doing the same. So i suppose it's up to us to show them where we went wrong, and help them back onto the right path.

Thank you for visiting and your comments, Adrian.
As grandparents, we can only try. I would like to think that by trying, we can show true love for family.
Best wishes.
Frederick

This is a great article and very true. Nothing can replace playing with your children and grandchildren.

Thanks for you support, Ruth.
Spread the word, HAVE FUN!
Best wishes.
Frederick

Excellent article Frederick. We can either complain about the state of things with our children or take the simple steps necessary to correct them. Like you I choose the latter.

Thanks for you words of encouragement, Jason.
Sometimes, we have to do both.
Have a great time.
Frederick

Really enjoyed the post Frederick, yes the American society is as you describe. I spend quite a bit of time in South America, family values and activities are still the mainstream and always will be because their culture is focused on the family.

Maybe America will shift again to the family values that matter. Perhaps after the Baby Boomers age (my generation), things will arrive due to having to do so through sustainability.

Technology today is amazing, American society will leverage this as we are now "knowledge workers", outsourcing labor and manufacturing. The advantage of this is time freedom, enabling us return to the family values that shape healthy lives.

I agree with you, Grandparents have lots to teach, are instrumental in the future of generations to come.

I too am astounded by the lack of basic thought processes by many young people, as well as people my age (51). Probably the reason for the rapid erosion of the middle class in America.

As you probably know, 1% of people in flourish in any organization, be it a country, a local community, schools ect... These people get it, they don´t take things for granted, they are constantly learning, then teaching what they learn!

Great comments and support, Bruce.
It's amazing what 1% can do! I'm sure that your comments will be of help to others.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Well... What's not to agree with? But this will be a hard struggle. The social environment of our children, plus the attitude of parents towards using the TV and electronic games as baby sitters will make it difficult to reverse this cultural trend. Also, whether we like it or not, we live in the information age, and the age of short attention spans and immediate self-gratification. We live in the age of having to be politically correct where a few people can now dictate what the rest of us can or cannot do. In the end it's going to be left to the family unit to maintain values and balance. We are sitting on a precipice.
Great intel as always.
Jim

Thank you for adding your excellent comments to my intel, Jim.
Hopefully, if enough discussion is created, the "family" will wake up to what each generation is currently losing.
Best to you.
Frederick

Agreed, Frederick. Too many (sometimes justified) concerns about a child`s safety stops them playing out, along with too much time sent on computer games, mobile phones and so on. It sounds as though you have the same problems with the younger generation in the US as we have here in the UK.

Thanks for the comments, Geoff.
The electronic age is way out of control and public safety is jeopradized because the lawmaking powers are too slow to act. People won't stop, unless they are forced to, because common sense isn't taught.
Best to you.
Frederick

Good points. Grandparents today are certainly struggling to find the role they play - or are allowed to play, in some cases, with their grandchildren. My grandkids are all teenagers now, and live far away. I wish they were closer.

Thank you for stopping by with your comments, June.
We have both close and far away grandchildren, so I understand your wishes.
Best wishes.
Frederick

When we grew up our mothers mostly didn't work, and they didn't want us with our friends hanging around the house, so we were forced to play outside.

It was safe to play outside, to ride out bicycles around the neighborhood and beyond in those days. Nobody feared about being run over by a car or abducted by a peodophile.

I often went out for hours, my mother having no idea where I was, since I had no idea where I was headed to when I left. I had no money in my pocket, no cell phone of course, I just went out to the parks and playgrounds or to my friends houses.

These days you can't let children play outside on their own so easily for various reasons, which is really sad. Buy them a bicycle, and chances are that they will only be able to ride it in the yard, or when you take them to the park.

There is also 24 hour television, which we certainly didn't have back then in the UK (only 2 channels and 2 hours at most per day for children). You also have video games, computers, DVD players etc, so much entertainment for children to just sit there and interact with a machine. It's sad that rarely do they even get to play board games, which are great fun.

I wish in some ways we could go back to times as they used to be, when fun was easy to have, and the great outdoors was there for exploring. As an adult I still enjoy exploring, and try to instill this delight into my children when I can.

Thanks for your comments, Tony.
We can't control all of the outdoors safety, but parents should be able to control what is happening in their homes.
I appreciate you input very much.
Best to you and your family.
Frederick

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad? (and Mom too now)
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Like some of the old ways, Franklyn the old songs still carry the right message.
Thanks for your comments.
Frederick

Poddys Jan 19, 2010 11:57

FANTASTIC intel, 5 stars from me. So true and so sad how things have gotten. Oprah did a show on this and had this family remove all electronics. the 5 year old (who played video games up to 8 hours, yes I said 8 hours a day) went into withdraw like a drug addict would have. it was fascinating to watch. after a week the family started reading and doing things together, wow, imagine that! I have yet to allow my 3 year old to watch TV, it is downstairs and never on while he is awake. Being outside is absolutly the best for learing, development etc. thanks so much for this post!

Thank you so much for the very detailed comments, Eliza. This intel, which is a sore point with this grandparent, has drawn a great many supportive comments.
I can only hope that more people realize the state of our childrens futures.
Best to you.
Frederick

Interesting article, interesting suggestions, good comments and discussion guys, very cool.

If the comments where emailed with the anouncement then people might not bother to click through to the Intel because they have seen the comments. If one comment was perhaps it might encourage a click through, as it stands there is nothing so not much encouragement. I see that other peoples comments are posted in email but not the comments of the authors feedback I think it would need some testing to try and find out what works best. Ideally the more dialogue created around your Intel the better because it's free user generated content that helps to keep the page fresh and updated plus people gravitate to other peoples comments giving a page added authority in many instances.

Like you, Ted I think that the comments become a great addition to the story. I wish that the comments were included when the intel is emailed.Any thoughts?
Thanks for your support.
Frederick

Excellent Hub. Both of us Patricias worked when our kids were little, but we made huge efforts to spend time with our kids when we were at home. We both sat with them and read bed time stories - from books, not watching TV together. We supported them doing sport. Some winter weekends we joined up both families for board game sessions. Both of us look back on those as very happy years. Kids only live with you for a few years and those years should be regarded as a privilege.

Thank you for sharing these very kind and informative comments. The privilege years go by and then we wish they were back. Which can't happen, so your right,ENJOY.
Best wishes.
Frederick

My parents didn't play with us, but we certainly played outdoors (mid 1960s). I started letting my son cook with me when he was in pre-school. Now, 30 years later, he sends me big batches of cookies for Christmas.

Thanks for the support, Angela.
I can remember baking cakes, from scratch when I was 13.
I loved it and so did my mom, because she worked to support us.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Our grandkids are some of the most active kids we know. They all do activities like organized sports (hockey & lacrosse, figure skating, dance and swimming), they walk and hike with their parents and us sometimes. Even though it's a modern contraption, they love the wii fit (gotta admit, so do I).

Sometimes we play board games - I still have half a dozen including "Flying Hats", HiQ, Monopoly, Hands Down. We play computer games together too. They wear me out :)

Thank you for visiting and for your comments, Gracey. I know what your going through, as we have 2 grandchildren that we take to sports practices and games. I think it helps to keep us young or tired or both. We love it!
Best wishes.
Frederick

Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments, Andrew.
Best wishes.
Frederick

This intel is highly re-awakening. And the games we have neglected to play have affected our children, and our conscience, very badly. In the African setting, for example, a female child is expected to learn how to cook and take care of the home well from their moms. Unfortunately, many wealthy homes have neglected this duty. The housemaid does the cooking and other household chores while the children idle or play away. The daughters get married and soon get booted out by their husbands for poor cooking and other domestic inadequacies. A friend's daughter suffered this fate a few years ago. It's time we played less of the modern games and more of the traditional ones.

Thank you for your visit and your comments, Lateef.
I realize that most of us see better when we look back, but there is so much written today about irresponsible behavior.
One would think that responsibility for our actions would come back.
Best wishes.
Frederick

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