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Student Bullying Tragedy

By Frederick Corrigan

This struggle starts in the fall of 2009. A beautiful 15 year old girl, her younger sister and their mother move from County Clare, Ireland to a small town in the western part of Massachusetts.

The lovely Irish girl named Phoebe, immediately attracted attention in this public high school of 750 plus, students. A number of girls were obviously jealous and threatened by this, “New Girl”.

As the first few months passed, some of the boys naturally started showing attention. This provoked some girls to start name calling, such as, “Irish Whore”.

A couple of brief relationships with upper classmates led to further bullying, name calling and threats, by a number of girls, that “Phoebe should get her ass kicked”.

At one point, two teachers allegedly witnessed an exchange where one girl called Phoebe a Ho’. Phoebe said, “don’t call me a Ho’”. The girl responded, “I just did, so do something about it”. Phoebe just sat there and the teachers did nothing.

On another occasion, in a Latin class, a girl heckled Phoebe until she became visibly upset. This time, a witness told school administrators and they suspended the girl for one day.

By Jan. 13, 2010, Phoebe confided in a friend that school, “has been close to intolerable lately”.

Jan. 14th brought a number of taunts in the library class. Girls taunting, “Close your legs’ and “I hate sluts”.

Phoebe left the library and was walking home. A car came by and a girl threw a soda can at Phoebe from the passing vehicle.

It all ended that day at 5:15 PM when Phoebe’s younger sister found her hanging in their rented family home.

This is America, the land of the Free. Tell that to the family of this 15 year old child!

Now, more tragedy unfolds!

First, none of the school administrators or teachers would talk to the media. There were allegedly 6 students involved in some sort of bullying. However, none of them could be identified, because they were minors.

The school wasn’t revealing any details about their investigation; who was involved or whether disciplinary actions would be taken. This really got the media circling the school looking for answers.

The town of over 17,000 people held elections for town officers and approximately 760 people came out to vote. Most town officials ran unopposed, including the members of the school committee. We’re free to be irresponsible and not respect our right to vote by staying home.

Now, there’s a frenzied news media!

The voters show up in force at the school committee meeting.

Now the voters start to holler!

Why didn’t anybody stop the bullying on this young girl?

Fire the superintendent!

Who were the teachers that witnessed the bullying?

What’s going to happen to the students that were involved?

The April 26, 2010 issue of People Magazine came out this week with the story and Phoebe’s picture on the cover. This story revealed that three students have been arraigned in criminal court and three others were arraigned in juvenile court.

To add to this Student Bullying Tragedy, let’s look at some other facts.

Not once, in any meeting, on TV, in the newspaper or in the magazine article did anyone even question what were the parents doing during this four month long Bullying.

When the one girl was suspended from school for a day, shouldn’t the school administrators and parents have looked further into the situation?

If the teachers who witnessed the heckling, sent the students to the office, would the parents have been upset?

The State Legislature is working on a Bullying Bill at this time. However, they want any school employee to report any student who is Bullying to the school administrators.

Can’t you just see the parent coming down on the school when the teacher sends their son or daughter to the office for discipline? Then the superintendent sends the student home for a week for Bullying. It’s unfortunate, but the student misses the mid-term exams and fails the course.

Can you say, LAWYER!

Going to Public School is a privilege. Too many people think that it is their God given right. We may be expected to educate all of our children, but not if they can’t respect the rights of others.

Let’s make it simple. If a student is found guilty of Bullying of any type, they will be suspended for the remainder of the school year. The student will then have to repeat that year, starting in the following September.

We elect a school committee to oversee our school systems. This should also include the decision to expel a student. We don’t need a lawyer or courts to decide what parents should be aware of.

Making this a State Law will make parents and students pay attention to what’s going on in their schools.

Parents will be more involved with the election of the school committee and will be more active in parent/teacher meetings.

Students need to know that their actions have consequences and that being a minor doesn’t allow them the right to Bully the System. Students can drive a car, work for pay, babysit other people’s children and yet not be held responsible for their Bullying Mouths and Text Bullying.

If they know the consequences, the students will stop Bullying or they can pay the consequences!

Which Student Bullying Tragedy do you want?

Do we make it a law that a Bully has to repeat a grade in school?

Do we live with the death of a fellow student and those consequences?

As a parent and voter, YOU make the choice!

Contributor's Note

All accounts concerning the Bullying of Phoebe have not been witnessed by the author. They are a collectiom of alledged situations taken from,TV, newspaper and magazine articles concerning this case. The students have yet to go to trial, but they have been charged.

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Frederick, this such a repeating story in the UK. In fact kids murder each other, some as young as 5.
The blame is laid at the door of Social Services not paying attention to the build up.
However the parents on both sides must bear the brunt for not being parents.
I had 2 kids a boy and a girl only a couple of years apart.
When it came to secondary school we sent them both to the same Catholic School.
We spoke to the Headmaster and told him that while our children were at his school he had full authority to not only educate, but reprimand where needed.
Neither of them never did any of the stuff that goes on these days. They both ended up in satisfying jobs and are now 43 and 41 respectively.
My son has 2 boys. One of them seems to be looking to get a degree at age 16.
I chastised them both verbally and gently physically prior to 16 when they seemed to be getting out of hand.
I cannot see why parents here in the UK are not allowed the same actions as us in the mid 60's.
We really do need to look at parent's rights as much as regulations. It's all got out of proportion.

I appreciate your visit and your supportive comments, Damien. The answer isn't easy or simple, but it does relate to the responsibility of parenthood.
Best wishes.
Frederick

What a terrible tragedy. In my city, there is a well known 'secret' that in one community at least, well-healed parents take legal action against any educator or school that tries to discipline their children for bullying. There's not much teachers or school boards can do, given that reality.

This is why I say we need mandatory laws to expel the few bad actors. We have manitory speed limits that if violated can cost you your right to drive. In both cases, we need to have respect for other people's safety.
Thank you for your visit and your comments.
Best to you.
Frederick

When I was a kid, my mom or dad would have gone to the other kid's house and put a stop to it. Nowadays, parents use the schools as baby sitters and don't care enough about their kids.

The problem has two main causes: Lack of discipline at home and lack of discipline at school. When Dr. Seuss came along and told parents that their children would be harmed by getting paddled, discipline began to break down.

The other kid's parents would have thanked your parents for bringing their childs indescretions to their attention.
They cared about their childs conduct.
Thanks for your support, Jim.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Frederick, you and I are old enough to remember when common sense ruled the roost.

This story is the inevitable result of all the limp wristed liberalism that has reduced our society to a non-caring grab-what-I-can amalgam of dumb humanity.

Children will always act as badly as they can in order to see just how much they can get away with. In modern society they can and do get away with anything that they want to - BECAUSE THEY CAN!

All this ridiculous granting of 'rights' to children who wouldn't know discipline if it stood in front of them and sang Le Marseilles. Parents have abdicated all responsibility in the face of censure from nameless committees that have decided that children have 'rights' because not to do so would probably render them subject to legal penalties - possibly, even, jail.

Until these idiots start to accept that 'rights' are not licence and that they come with a range of 'responsibilities' the situation will only get worse.

We spared the rod and totally destroyed our children - AND STILL THE LESSON HAS NOT BEEN LEARNED!

I'm sure most kids today feel that their parents simply don't care because they don't try to instil discipline. Where is the joy we felt as teenagers in pushing the boundaries knowing that there would be swift and uncomfortable punishment if we pushed them too far? Do you remember the thrill of scrumping apples or stuffing a potato up a neighbour's car exhaust pipe? Do you remember the even greater thrill when you thought you had got away with it only to find out, much later, that the punishment was simply delayed and involved the with-holding of a treat that you had been anticipating?

Thank you for the wonderful comments, Arthur.
"Rights have responsibilities" is such a great comment and truth.
We don't need to beat our children, we just need them to realize the consequences of their actions. We train animals the same way,no treat when you misbehave.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Frederick, if you hadn't reported on such student bullying in such detail, I would never have believed it.
This was unthinkable when I went to school in my time.
However, I know from a teacher friend of mine that heavy bullying may happen nowadays in multicultural schools in Hamburg Northern Germany. To answer your question: Yes, students who bully should be forced to repeat a year by law.

Thank you for stopping by and for your comments, Gabriele.
I really hope that this intel stirs enough people to stop school bad behavior. Our children are tomorrows leaders and without respect for others, we're in trouble and so are they.
Best to you.
Frederick

I've been the parent of a bullied student and have had the misfortune of being lied to by school officials. "He's been suspended and will likely be going to jail for another incident -- there is no point in pressing charges because the other incident (he had shoved a boy in front of a moving bus) will actually get him more time."

I went to a small Christian school where any kind of bullying was not tolerated. Verbal abuse called for detention. A second offense called for suspension. A third offense meant expulsion. Physical violence wasn't given a second chance at all -- the student was simply expelled. The rules were laid out and nobody was accepted without the parents' signatures. It was one of the main reasons students came to our school. They felt safe.

As far as those guidelines are concerned, I don't see why it should be any different in a public school. Nobody has the "right" to bully and every student deserves to feel safe and confident. I do hope this incident opens the eyes of more people and some serious reform is done in regards to school discipline.

Karla, I appreciate your story so very much. We parents need to get children back in control of their consequences.
Any parent that doesn't realize that is not looking at or loveing their children.
Thank you for sharing your comments.
Best to you.
Frederick

Seems this problem is universal and has the same cause we have taken away the right for teachers and others in authority to discipline our children for fear of child abuse and what we get in return is 'adult abuse'. Almost every child knows their rights as to what you can and can't do but they have no regard to others rights, and until they are shown that they cannot do just as they wish the situation will continue to deteriorate.

You are absolutely right, Adrian. As humans, we push the envelope until someone or something stops us. A baby will cry until they receive what they want. It's the responsibility of the parents to determine what is needed for the good health and safety of the child.
There are times, when NO is the proper answer.
Thank you for your support.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Making more laws is not going to help the situation when we are not enforcing the laws we already have. I think the parents bear the ultimate responsibility for ensuring that their children grow up with limits and with empathy, but there are many families in which the parents refuse to do this, or cannot. In that case, the only hope is that there is a cohesive sense of community that makes people feel comfortable standing up and doing what is right. Without that, society is just a jungle.

Thank you for visiting and for you comments, Janet. I agree that we need to enforce the laws that we now have, but in Ma. we don't have a Bullying Law yet. This is probably true in many other states, because nobody dares to offend children's rights. This has to and will, change!
Best to you.
Frederick

Thank you for highlighting this tragic story. Unfortunately this is happening in a lot of countries, not just the U.S.

Thanks for your support, Keith. I think that the reactions that this article has received from around the world, is an indication that child and parent consequences need to change.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Oh this bullying is getting too extreme to not be dealt with in a more aggressive manner. We don't tolerate an adult that abuses a child, why do we tolerate a child that abuses a child? I absolutely agree that there should be more punishment, not only for the students involved but school administrators, teachers or anyone else that witnesses bullying and doesn't do something about it. There is a situation at a local school where I live and it's a Catholic School! Kids have been punished but not dealt with accordingly and the bullying goes on. They're 4th graders! We try so hard to keep our kids safe on the streets and they aren't even safe when they go to school. There is something very wrong with that and laws definitely need changed. Parents need to be more aggressive, too. If my kid was being bullied, I would be at that schools front door every day and I would get in the bully's face. Unfortunately, I would probably be the one in front of a judge.

WOW, I thank you for your attitude, Morganna. I didn't realize that this intel would create the comments that it has. Maybe, just maybe, if the issue gets pushed in front of enough legislators, something will get done.
Best to you.
Frederick

Agree with Keith as well, this bullying is getting out of hand in a major way in our respective countries. It certainly does lead to an exploration of boundaries of where these kids can try their luck.

Case in point and I will let people know now, this story is very disturbing from a couple of years ago.

A young girl of 17, handicapped was found near death in a public park after 6 kids, all males ranging from ages of 16 to 19, bullied, harassed verbally, kicked, punched, burnt with cigarettes and spat on this girl. To make matters worse they sexually assaulted her repeatedly and one eventually raped her, repeatedly. They were all caught and received court sentences ranging from 6 months to 10 years.

It was one of the sickest forms of violence and bullying I have ever read about and it happened in MY home city. Discipline has to come back with a vengeance, almost all violence today is stemming from schools that turn a blind eye to bullying.

Thank you for stopping by and sharing this young girl's tragic story with us, Jason. My heart goes out to her and her family.
Because schools and parents turn their backs on Bullying, not only the victim, but the accused all end up with wrecked lives.
Best wishes.
Frederick

I left a comment already but have another suggestion for this behavior. In the area I live in, and maybe in many more across the nation, when the students in our school are caught with snuff or are truant repeatedly or any other infraction, the parents are fined from the local magistrate. Why not start making parents more responsible for their kids bullying? and how can the parents of kids that bully even allow this to happen? Maybe they're bullies themselves!

I agree with you ,Morganna, the parents need to be more responsible. However,abuse is known to be in many homes and it is covered up by those within the home. By forcing the parents to appear a school, could be a way of digging deeper into the family problem.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Perhaps, I should mention that children must also be taught more about real values. That goes for the right attitude at home as well. The school could teach it with all kinds of other means. If those girls had learned that beauty is not the only quality of value but that there are so many more positive attributes which help a boy or a girl to become popular, then the bullying might not have happened to such extent.
Also, it might be a good idea to give teachers some skills to deal with situations which lack respect. Or a school should be able to call on an expert who may address the whole school during a special assembly.
So much can be done.

Thank you for these great comments, Gabriele. There is so much that could be done to teach respect for others.
Best wishes.
Frederick

I'll start by stating that it depends on how you define "bullying". We live, remember, in the age of political correctness.

Bullies have been around in schools forever. Parents not taking responsibility for their children's actions are an old story. Kids can be cruel. I myself have been a victim of bullies in school.

Because, of all of this "PC", parents are not even allowed to discipline their own children. Also, sadly, some do not posses the inclination to do so.

I heard a news story once about (I think it was Singapore.) Kids who break the law (juveniles after and before a certain age) are CANED -- by the authorities. It's a serious punishment. As a result, juvenile crime is way down.

If we can determine, define, and differentiate between vicious bullying and just "kids being stupid" we should make the punishment fit the crime for juveniles. Kids have to learn that there are consequences. If not by parents, then by the juvenile authorities.

But... I doubt if the ACLU will let that happen. After all, we all live in Mr. Roger's neighborhood...

Thank you for visiting and for your valuable comments, James. I believe that one of the biggest keys is to make sure that every child knows exactly what the consequences are for their actions. If parents don't agree, they are free to send their child to private school, if the school will take their child.
Best wishes.
Frederick

It's existed for forever. I don't know the answers but I do know parents need to take some responsibility here. When teachers and others indicate your kid is a problem, it's time to look at your kid. I'm not saying schools don't need to monitor and respond to these things, they most certainly do, but parents need to be the primary person to respond, it's their job.

Thank you for stopping by and for your comments, Christina.
You can bet, that if the law is made to allow school committees to expel a child for Bullying, the parents will pay attention.
Best to you.
Frederick

No one wants to be responsible anymore it seems...
Thank you Frederick and I enjoyed reading your intel and following the discussion.
With love and respect,
D.

Thank you for visiting and for your kind comments, Diana.
The multitude of comments has certainly added to the effect of my intel and I appreciate every one of them.
Best wishes.
Frederick

As mentioned by some ot her comments here, the right to discipline has been taken away from teachers and I also agree that parents are not using discipline at home. If I try to discipline a student at school nothing happens as in the end the parents whine and put the blame on someone else rather than making their child recognize his/her actions and pay the price for those actions. if your child fails a class, well its not their fault, its the teachers fault, if they are a bully, its not their fault, its because of this that and the other, always some excuse. Lots of parents never teach responsibility and they never discipline. I see it all the time, makes being a teacher quite difficult these days!

Thank you so very much for visiting and for your positive comments, Eliza. I would not want to be a teacher today and have to deal with waffling parents and school administrators. This is why I think that the school commitee could be a big help in this disipline process.
Best to you.
Frederick

Bullying is one of my pet hates. It doesn`t matter whether it is at school, at home, or in the work place - it is plain wrong. So often they are cowards picking on the vulnerable in society. Good Intel Frederick, I hope the culprits get their punishment.

Thank you for stopping by and for you supportive comments, Geoff. I hope that they get their punishment, too. The young girl is taken and her family bears the loss the rest of their lives.
Best wishes.
Frederick

The awful truth is that young adults are already in the stage that bullying children are today.
Muggings, thieving, murder are rife in the age group of the 80's.
We have politicians who ride roughshod over our values and football fans who think the "beautiful game" is license to kill and mame.
The obvious approach is harsher punishment, since we seem have run out of incentives to behave.
Whatever happened to shh! Capital Punishment?

Thank you for your comments, Damien. We still have capital Punishment for murder in many States in America. However, if children and young adults were subjected to sufficient consequences for their actions, we might save some of them from the death penalty.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Frederick, even with anti-Bullying Policies put in place at every school, as required by law in the UK, every day many children's lives are made unbearable through the bullying actions of other children. I know because my own beautiful girl was subjected to bullying on and off for 3 years. We had a dreadful problem getting the school to agree that what was happening was bullying and the other girls' parents refused to co-operate with the strategies the school wanted to apply including group sessions with a specialist.

In the end it was ME who suggested the action that needed to be taken, that resolved the situation. And that was to tell the girl how much her actions were causing "hurt and upset" - phrase taken from the AntiBullying Policy - and that if she chose to continue, then that would be bullying and would be dealt with as such.

The bullying stopped because the school finally stood up to the bully in a direct and confrontational way. None of this "let's talk it through" rubbish. But why was it ME who had to come up with the solution?

Thank you for visiting and for your very descriptive comments, AJ. "Why was it me", is the one of the reasons that we need a third party, "The School Committee", to enforce the expulsion. This will bring the parents to the discussion table or get rid of the Bully.
Best wishes.
Frederick

Boy, Frederick you really have stirred up a hornets nest on this subject.
I was a school governor for two schools about 7 years ago, as part of my qualifications for standing as a local councillor in forthcoming elections. (Not my idea - Association Chairman edict!)
During that time I attended Governor meetings many times.
What came out of this episode was interesting.
When I were a lad, we got expelled if we were caught doing naughty things like blowing up the music teachers piano during morning assembly. (The flash-bang was wired to the loud pedal of the piano)
St Patricks Day produced another incident when, perhaps the same boy slipped into the staff room and threw tins of green paint into the teachers lockers and all over the staff room.
I am sure all the ex-boys in the Qondio community reading this will know the sort of thing I am talking about.
During the Governors meeting we were asked to judge upon around 15 cases of unruly and other conduct amongst the pupils (Mixed school)
We recommended various pupils for "Exclusion" (We use to refer to this as "Expulsion")
This involved the pupil in question not being allowed to attend school. Guess what, the pupil was then directed to another school to continue being "difficult". Our school had about 5 or 6 puplis for ourselves to manage, excluded from nearby schools.
Changing words to describe the same problem is prevalent today in the UK. It does not help at all.
I promise this is my very last word on this matter. :)

The subject deserves to be a hornet's nest and it should keep stinging until parents wake up to their responsibilities.
Thank you once again for your valuable comments, Damien.
Best to you.
Frederick

Oh my Damien, the charge around the pedal had to have been light-weight don't you suppose, so not to injure the music teacher?! I mostly inform my students that it's not wise to set a soft drink near the keys so as not to fry the computer chips. I'll keep a closer eye on the damper pedal! :)

Thank you for revisiting and following this intel, Diana.
You see so many ads on TV, with people eating and drinking around their electronics. Not a good policy.
Best to you.
Frederick

Frederick,
Thanks for posting this. This story breaks my heart. I find myself being more and more upset every time I hear about these crimes. When I heard about this in the news it really hit home. I was the victim of bullying years ago. I can say that it leaves a permanent mark. If kids only knew what kind of damage they were really doing. I'd like to think it would make a difference and perhaps they wouldn't do it. The years heal the wounds, but there the memory is always there. I really feel for this family. Again, thanks for posting this.

Thank you for your very valuable support, Jethro. The reactions and comments only indicate that we have a problem within our schools.
Best wishes.
Frederick

More of the same, Frederick. I have a close friend who lost her daughter to some bullies. Yes, they literally did kill her, first beating her and then drowning her in a creek. It chills me to the bone to remember it now. The law was very slow to action and it has taken court case after court case on the victim's parents part to bring the bullies/murderers to account. Because they were minors at the time, the law was going easy on them. I was very angry and still am when I think about it.

Thank you for visiting and for sharing your friend's terrible loss, Loraine. Parent's need to get control of instilling, "responsibility for actions" in their children. The fact that we have so many irresponsible parents, adds to the problem.
Best to you.
Frederick

You know, while bullying exists virtually everywhere, we don't usually get this kind of bullying here in the Philippines. I think it's very strange and unusual that in school-age America, there is a serious need to conform; part of the reason why bullying exists is because kids are jealous of the one who shines or simply sticks out from the rest. Just to describe my experience, I WAS a bullied girl (by both students and teachers), but I learned how to fight back. And I must admit, the bullying I experienced was in no way as painfully random as it seems to be in the US - I don't mean to brag but I've always known that the catty girls and the mediocre teachers couldn't handle a sassy young woman who was better than them intellectually and emotionally, since I was on the honour roll and they realised with the way I answered both oral recitation and written examinations that the only reason why I couldn't teach my own lectures was because I was underage.

Thank you for your visit and for your comments concerning your Philippine schooling. I appreciate your support, Ligaya.
Best to you.
Frederick

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